The real reason why girls live longer.

It has been proven that the female sex generally lives a number of years longer than males. (Lucky for us). Lately, while watching guys around me get ready to go somewhere versus girls, it occurred to me, the real reason women live longer than men is because we require so much more time to get ready.

I'm no scientist (although I am the product of my rocket-scientist father), but I believe my hypothesis may be a fact. There is, on average, an hour-long ritual-like process that a female will go through until she is ready to enter the outside world. Add up all of those hours, every day, of every year, I bet it would be the equivalent to the amount of years females statistically live longer than males. Hence, we need those few more years to make up for lost prep-time.

A typical guy waits until the last possible minute to get ready before going out. He hops in the shower, cleans up, throws on whatever clean clothes he has, runs his fingers through his hair, and he's out the door.

The standard female getting ready time goes something like: shower, put on lotion, comb through hair, put in products, pick out outfit, throw clothes on bed/floor/chair, replace outfit for alternative outfit, pick out undergarments based on outfit, put on outfit, call girlfriend for opinion on outfit, change outfit again, dry hair, put on make-up, spritz on perfume, match jewelry to outfit and occasion, pick out coordinating purse, empty all contents from another purse into coordinating purse…you get the idea.

I still haven’t figured out if this theory holds true for gay/metro-sexual males. Maybe that will be a future study. Though I do know, that while it’s so much more work for us to get ready, it does pay off to be a girl.